The Tortured Males Department

A Deep-Dive Into Pseudo-feminism

Imagine being discriminated against because of your gender. Most, if not all, women have experienced it at some point. Some rise above it, learning from their experiences and using them to empower not just themselves but others around them. But not everyone handles such situations gracefully, and honestly? That’s okay. People process pain differently. 

Sometimes, though, the way they cope turns unhealthy. It becomes toxic. And that’s where the term misandry sneaks in.

“misandry

/mɪˈsandri/

noun

dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex)"

Now before someone decides to call me a “pick-me,” let’s get one thing straight—I am a feminist. Feminism isn’t about putting one gender above another; it’s about leveling the playing field. Equal opportunities, equal respect, equal everything. It’s about merit, not anatomy. Feminism isn’t, and never has been, about hating men.

But here’s the thing—human minds are wired to think their way is the only way. Some people, without even realizing it, fall into the trap of practicing pseudo-feminism. And sometimes, that pseudo-feminism takes the form of misandry.

Let me make it simpler. Have you ever heard phrases like:

“All men are trash.”

“Men don’t know what real problems are.”

“Why would a man need a safe space?”

If you have, then congratulations—you’ve encountered misandry disguised as feminism.

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Everyday Misandry in Action

1. Dismissing Men’s Problems:

Depression doesn’t check your chromosomes before settling in. Neither does abuse, nor the relentless societal pressure to “be a man” and “provide.” And yet, men speaking out about these things are often met with disbelief or mockery, as if their pain isn’t valid. But here’s the irony: dismissing their problems only reinforces the same toxic masculinity feminism is trying to dismantle.

2. Objectification Goes Both Ways:

Women have dealt with objectification forever, and we’ve fought hard to call it out. But let’s not pretend men don’t experience it too. You’ve seen the memes: “Under six feet? Undateable.” Or the casual jokes about men being “walking wallets” or “human ATMs.” It’s the same poison, just dressed up differently. When we objectify anyone, we strip away their humanity. The sad part? Some people laugh it off, thinking it’s harmless, but what they don’t realize is that it is the very stereotypes we’re all so desperate to break.

3. Mocking Vulnerability:

Vulnerability should be celebrated, right? But not if you’re a guy, apparently. A man crying over a heartbreak? “Weak.” He’s hesitant after facing rejection? “Can’t handle it, huh?” Society has drilled into men that showing emotion is a flaw, that being sensitive makes them less “manly.”

Here’s where it gets twisted: we tell men to open up, to share their feelings, but the moment they do, they’re ridiculed. It’s hypocrisy at its finest, and it’s damaging to everyone involved. If we keep punishing men for being human, how do we expect them to embrace the very change we’re advocating for?

4. Ignoring Male Victims of Abuse:

Abuse is abuse, regardless of gender, but how often do you hear about male victims being taken seriously? Shelters, hotlines, and resources are mainly tailored to women—and that’s necessary, but men deserve support too.

 When a man comes forward with a story of abuse, the reaction is often disbelief. “But you’re bigger than her,” or worse, “Why didn’t you fight back?” These responses not only invalidate their experiences but also force them to stay silent.

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Feminism Is For Everyone

The thing about feminism is that it’s supposed to be inclusive. It’s about breaking down the patriarchy—not flipping it on its head and calling it progress. Patriarchy doesn’t just hurt women; it hurts men too. It forces them into these suffocating, narrow roles they didn’t ask for. And let’s be real, misandry doesn’t challenge that system—it just switches up who gets to suffer.

So, what do we do instead? We focus on the real problem: the systems, the stereotypes, and the structures that hurt everyone. It’s not about pointing fingers or playing the blame game; it’s about creating a world that’s fair for all of us. Because that’s what equality is supposed to be, right? Fairness.

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Conclusion

Feminism doesn’t need misandry to prove a point. It’s already powerful enough when practiced with empathy, fairness, and respect. So next time you’re tempted to repost that “men are trash” meme, maybe pause for a second. Think about what true feminism stands for.

Let’s be better, for we can.

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